Heteroflexible? How very accommodating of him. I don't want to offer false hope, but there's certainly a chance that by describing himself thus your friend was sending you a signal of his availability. It's an unusual way for a heterosexual man to describe himself during a workaday chitchat with a pal, even if it's the latest "buzzword". Most men that I know who have close gay buddies spend an inordinate amount of time convincing anyone who cares that they're nothing like their mate, instead of intimating that they'd like to visit, if not join the club. Some of the worst homophobic jokes I've heard have flown from the mouths of such bosom buddies, and I wonder if such friendships only truly blossom when the lines are clearly drawn.
Or am I being too 80s about sexuality? It certainly used to be a lot easier to spot gay men back then. They seemed to be either swathed in leather, acting loud and proud about their alternative lifestyle or engaged in fierce political protest about Clause 28. Nowadays homosexuality is so much part of the mainstream it's a challenge to get to grips with who is and who isn't if you decide to start counting. From bishops to lawyers, sportsmen to politicians, labourers to literati, clues to a preferred sexual partner can be hard to uncover.
My two closest gay friends enhance my life in many ways, but can always be relied upon to make me look shabby with their perfectly pressed shirts and suits as tight as sausage skins – and that's when they pop over for a curry. By comparison, my husband looks like I've dragged him out of a skip. I can't imagine any gay man would sink so low on the grooming stakes, but as a blonde I've also learned not to be seduced by stereotypes. Nowadays it seems as if we're all open to persuasion. Sexual predilections have gained an increasing fluidity, and if that's a sign of evolution or just further proof that we're out for whatever we can grasp I'm not sure.
Holding firm beliefs, whether religious, political or sexual, is so last century. Personally, I think ambiguity is better in a lover. With a friend you want to know where you are. To have no definitive clue to your best friend's sexuality is a little unusual. Announcing that he's "heteroflexible" does seem like a green light, but without knowing the context of your discussion it's hard to know how such an admission was arrived at. Not that mates don't keep secrets from each other, but this would be quite a monster to conceal. It only heightens my worry that you're succumbing to a severe case of wish fulfilment. If you have a crush on him you're going to be looking for any small signal that he might be sympathetic to your desires, or better yet animated by them.
Let me remind you that even if your friend does swing it may not be in your direction. He may be testing you to see if he can be frank about his sexual adventures but not for a moment contemplating that you come along for the ride. In the face of such uncertainty I'd say far better to do your investigating by internet than face to face, where all kinds of humiliations could occur. Employ manipulative sleuthing skills to see if you can tease him out of his shell of ambiguity. Try bemoaning the dearth of suitable lovers in your location and tell him how you dream of a man just like him, but gay. If that doesn't lure him out of the closet I fear he's not for turning and you may have to look further afield. Should that turn out to be the case, don't despair – when you're no longer focused in one direction you'll be surprised how your romantic horizons expand.
Previously having had a South Buffalo constituency base as a Buffalo Councilmember, Assemblyman Kearns now represents residents of areas in Buffalo and Lackawanna as well as Orchard Park and West Seneca, and finds it important to be accessible to the people of those areas. As such the assemblyman is moving his office from the Seneca Street, South Buffalo space to a Southgate Plaza office located at 950 Union Road in West Seneca to allow for a more central location. He will maintain a satellite office in Buffalo at the Cazenovia Resource Center and Library located at 155 Cazenovia Street for easy accessibility to the residents of Buffalo.
Acknowledging that having been elected in this past spring’s special election has aided him in already having many legislative efforts underway, Assemblyman Kearns is working towards several efforts to improve the quality of life in our area and maintaining a solid tax base.
Assemblyman Kearns has filed real property related legislation aimed at minimizing the negative impact of the economy’s foreclosure market. One bill will require banks to act in “good faith”, making it illegal for lenders to indefinably delay obtaining a foreclosure, thereby requiring them to take responsibility for the foreclosed properties earlier. Another real property related effort will require lenders to have a contact organization readily available to maintain abandoned or vacant properties that were the subject or foreclosure, to allow for upkeep of the properties during time of transition.
Kearns is seeking support for his “Secret Settlement Prohibition” efforts that will forbid court approved secret settlement agreements on matters that involve public agencies, public bodies and public organizations in certain litigation matters of wide spread interest. Prior secrecy agreements that involved substantial public harm included clergy sex abuse claims, dangerous prescription drug litigation matters, and Boy Scout of America abuse matters. Kearns’ proposed legislation would address and prohibit closet settlements of such matters.
Other important legislation presently pending in Albany is the anti cyber-bullying legislation that will ensure that New York State public schools are safe and free from cyber-bullying. This legislative effort was initiated by the receipt of a letter written by West Seneca youth, Christopher LaRussa, who had been the target of bullying. Assemblyman Kearns and others took action on the letter, and are now seeking “swift passage” of cyber-bullying legislation to make our schools a safer place for our children.
With a Buffalo firefighter for a father, serving the public seems to be in Kearns’ blood. Working prior to his public service in a law office and for a private fundraising company, the Assemblyman’s past experiences seems to have culminated into a unique skill set that enables him to easily envision a project and take the proper avenue of steps to put the project into play. Kearns talks about his vision for the New Year with spirit and passion.
“The wonderful part about my job” the Assemblyman reveals, “is that I am able to see the work that I do come to life. I live and work here and I have the opportunity to observe what I envision become a reality.”
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